My Wild ATV ride!!-long story but I tells it like I sees it!

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:12 pm

Okay, another mood lightener. I'm "sitting" and I use that word figuratively; recruiting from butt surgery right now!! 4 weeks, I'll say it again for emphasis, 4 weeks ago I went on a nice little ATV ride in the area north of the highway in Bucerias. I was at the back of a pack of 6 riders thinking "man, I wish I could switch with someone as it sure is dusty back here". Next think you know I'm flying through the air. Now, you know how they say your life flashes in front of you when you're in an accident??? Well, I broke my ankle badly two weeks before vacation last year and didn't get to go. I'm flying through the air not thinking of my life, or my head but thinking "oh s***!!!! I'm going to break my ankle again!!!". In those few seconds I knew my girls and husband would think I had died or broken something!! I landed, hard, on my a**!!! Took a moment to realize I wasn't dead as I didn't see any bright lights, just dust! Remembered our guide said to hit the horn on the ATV if we were in trouble. Yeah, right, I couldn't move! I finally rolled over and figured I must have scraped at least one layer of a** off. Crawled to the machine and hit the horn which was what you're supposed to do when you're in trouble. By that time it was just me and the dry creek bed and birds singing. Thank goodness I'm a farm girls since by then I was in desperate need of a bathroom and there aren't too many of those in the middle of the Mexican countryside! Anyway....around about that time I notice a truck meandering down the creek bed. Now you know you're in Mexico because this is an ATV trail not a road! I stop the guy who doesn't speak english and my spanish is limited. Thank goodness at this time our guide comes back (around 15 minutes have gone by), derails my ATV from the tree stump it is on. I get lots of tequila all is good.

Part 2

4 weeks later, after many jokes about the size of one side of my posterior I had the pleasure of having surgery to rid my butt of "stuff that doesn't belong there". Most of which I'm sure will gross you all out. I hope to be sitting normally pretty soon. I did realize during my two weeks in Mexico that there is no such thing to mexican men as having a butt that is too big AND anyone will talk to you about your butt if one side is bigger then the other and it has a big black bruise on it. I wouldn't recommend this as a way of meeting people but it did work for me and YES, I WOULD GO ON AN ATV TOUR AGAIN!!!!

smitty · Post by **smitty** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:43 pm

Chris - no words can consolidate - but you are a good sport - and I hope you are getting some deserved smooches on your sore posterior !

Plus4 · Post by **Plus4** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:05 pm

Ouch

That must have hurt..
Hope you butt heals fast...

Have you seen the donuts they used to give ladies after they have had a babe and after certain surgeries.....
Might be comfty for your tush...

sjl330 · Post by **sjl330** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:48 pm

Wow! I'm glad you weren't hurt worse. That could've been disastrous and you're very brave to go do it again.

Maybe you and Lorrie (Mrs. Crown) can compare butt bruises. She took a bad fall at Si Senors and hurt hers. Nothing quite as exciting as an ATV accident but I don't think she felt any pain til way after the fall, IYKWIM, lol.

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:30 am

I'm getting very good at sitting with only one butt cheek on a chair!! You should have seen the pics!! My family laughed their heads off! It was black and round as can be! I had two experiences with butt slaps and in no uncertain terms let them no that butt slapping was not an option where I was concerned!

It was a conversation starter (like I need one) thats for sure! Moral of the story. Do not be the last person in the ATV pack OR have another guide at the back door!

condor · Post by **condor** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:28 am

chrisnick wrote:I'm getting very good at sitting with only one butt cheek on a chair!! You should have seen the pics!! My family laughed their heads off! It was black and round as can be! I had two experiences with butt slaps and in no uncertain terms let them no that butt slapping was not an option where I was concerned!

It was a conversation starter (like I need one) thats for sure! Moral of the story. Do not be the last person in the ATV pack OR have another guide at the back door!

I was going to offer to come over and rub ointment on it

. . . but that would have just been inappropriate.

As far as getting use to sitting with only one butt cheek on a chair, I do it all the time. Bad news is it's because that's all that fits.

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:43 am

Hah thanks!! Right now thats up there with "no butt slapping allowed"!! I told my daughters that the pics were NOT to end up on Facebook! You may notice that they were also not included in any of the pics of my holiday!

ronald · Post by **ronald** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:53 am

Well of course they should not end up on facebook...that's for head and shoulder's shots...

You know.....there's probably a few on this board who just might not believe this all happened to you.....might even be implying that you be making it up kinda thing.... How convenient that it is the rear end.. Any other body part and you'd be wagging it in our faces...maybe even posting videos of these bruised appendages. I'm guessing any of these critics ( I could start naming them, but I wouldn't want to offend any of them by leaving one or two out) should be cut right off in that creek bed by you posting just one eeny, bitty, teency weency, little pic of the afformentioned unmentionalble body part.... unedited of course.

God that must have hurt... I feel so sorry for you...

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:06 pm

Lets just say, some people thought I should have fallen forward.....now wouldn't that have been pretty! As it is I don't "need" to have a bigger butt then I already have!! I have had my share of suggestions, shock and awe comments, looks of amazement, envy (trust me girls you DON"T WANT THIS) and just about everything else you've heard of. Having a big bruise on your butt is kind of like a man walking around with a puppy or baby.....everyone has a comment!

Thats okay, I'm not exactly quiet about it and maybe one day I'll post an anonymous photo of it since I've shown most of my friends and half of the population of PV!!

travelbug_jp · Post by **travelbug_jp** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:51 pm

Except that it won't really be anonymous will it because we will all know whose bruised and lopsided butt it is cuz you just told us! HAHAHAHA

Joyce

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:04 pm

I'm thinking they may have frozen more then my butt in surgery!!! I think I'll just let everyone imagine a large round butt the size of a small basketball which was at first red, then black and then just big!

tandr2 · Post by **tandr2** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:08 am

I've been in a few ATV accidents...here at home though...I feel for you. I was just riding on Saturday and my ATV hit the soft snow and over I went...I could barely move on Sunday...such is life...we'll both heal I'm sure. lol

Glad to hear you're ok

condor · Post by **condor** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:05 am

ronald wrote:Well of course they should not end up on facebook...that's for head and shoulder's shots...

You know.....there's probably a few on this board who just might not believe this all happened to you.....might even be implying that you be making it up kinda thing.... How convenient that it is the rear end.. Any other body part and you'd be wagging it in our faces...maybe even posting videos of these bruised appendages. I'm guessing any of these critics ( I could start naming them, but I wouldn't want to offend any of them by leaving one or two out) should be cut right off in that creek bed by you posting just one eeny, bitty, teency weency, little pic of the afformentioned unmentionalble body part.... unedited of course.

God that must have hurt... I feel so sorry for you...

That would just be inappropriate. Lets see a show of hands who wants to see it?

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 3:23 am

Okay, I'm laughing out loud!! You guys kill me!

ronald · Post by **ronald** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 4:33 am

Ok I won't look but I bet the bruise was this big!

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:06 pm

Bigger!! Pretty much think....HOLY S***!!! As that was most peoples reactions when I would turn around! Girls, for everyone with big butts out there. Mexicans do not believe there is such a thing as a butt that is too big!!!

lojol60 · Post by **lojol60** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:55 pm

Hey Chris! I can't imagine the pain you have been through. My tumble down the stairs at Si Senor's our first night made for quite an adventure. I'm lucky I didn't break any bones. I had one heck of a bruise on my left arm from my elbow to my wrist and everyone would come up to me and asked what happened? I also had a burn mark on my right cheek. That was from landing on the votive candle. After sitting there a bit and trying to figure out what happened, I thought, "why is my bottom warm" only to discover I was sitting on a votive candle. Luckily, my skort didn't catch on fire. Oh, the things we do to entertain our friends right Sandy and Fred?? Ha! Ha!

chrisnick · Post by **chrisnick** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:01 pm

Yea, we got to do what we've got to do!!! We must just love to entertain people. Heck I'm still giving everyone ample opportunity to use any one liners with references to butts that they haven't used!!

JROJEFF · Post by **JROJEFF** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:08 pm

Chris ,atv story for you . My mothers side of the family gets together at weddings and funerals , either way you get drunk. After a funeral ,still in dress pants tie and white shirt ,lots of beers, we went riding ,my cousin and uncle and the kids have at least 5, well to make the story short my uncle cheated and went only half way around the track ,so I caught him and raced to the so called finish line and he pulled a nascar move on me driving me into the infield where there was a big pile of dirt, atv up in the air me flying into a tree with my face ,broke my jaw. kept riding and dumbass me hit the same pile again and when the atv hit the ground it blew out both tires ,my arse hurt for days ,nothing broke but my pride .It did suck sucking mashed pots from the break truck at work , never break your jaw.

sjl330 · Post by **sjl330** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:17 pm

lojol60 wrote:Hey Chris! I can't imagine the pain you have been through. My tumble down the stairs at Si Senor's our first night made for quite an adventure. I'm lucky I didn't break any bones. I had one heck of a bruise on my left arm from my elbow to my wrist and everyone would come up to me and asked what happened? I also had a burn mark on my right cheek. That was from landing on the votive candle. After sitting there a bit and trying to figure out what happened, I thought, "why is my bottom warm" only to discover I was sitting on a votive candle. Luckily, my skort didn't catch on fire. Oh, the things we do to entertain our friends right Sandy and Fred?? Ha! Ha!

Yeah, and after all that trouble you went to to entertain us I didn't even see your grand finale that night. Seriously though, I'm very glad you didn't get hurt any worse than you did. At least you could still party!!

My Wild ATV ride!!-long story but I tells it like I sees it!

Ouch !