Women welcome bar

aceinnw · Post by **aceinnw** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:53 pm

Been to PvVabout 9 years ago, went to few gay clubs then but they really were more for the guys. I love hanging out at a place that has both guys and gals, but don't want to feel out of place. Going again in May. Where is a good place to realx, have a few drinks, listen to some music for a couple of mid-40's women. We are in no way night owls.

tojol57 · Post by **tojol57** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:32 pm

now the year we went to club Paco-Paco it was probably 80 - 20 men versus women... and we were the two straight couples in there having just as much fun, well lets say that three of us were and one was being a little "phobic" ... but it was a good time especially TV night. And we were there until like 2 in the morning.

good luck have a great time in Vallarta...

Shamrockit · Post by **Shamrockit** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 10:48 pm

aceinnw wrote:Been to PvVabout 9 years ago, went to few gay clubs then but they really were more for the guys. I love hanging out at a place that has both guys and gals, but don't want to feel out of place. Going again in May. Where is a good place to realx, have a few drinks, listen to some music for a couple of mid-40's women. We are in no way night owls.

When I read your post, I recognized that it could easily have been written by me.......we are a couple of 40ish women looking for the same places you are!

When you find out information regarding nice bars to go to, let me know.
We are going to PV May 20th.
We went last year, but really didn't have time to investigate much of anything.

charlieb · Post by **charlieb** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:43 pm

I really think that Andale's and the Burro bar are great places to go. Really laid back, non-judgemental watering holes. They are both on the South side on Olas Altas street. Have fun. Chuck...

delectdee · Post by **delectdee** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:10 am

charlieb wrote:I really think that Andale's and the Burro bar are great places to go. Really laid back, non-judgemental watering holes. They are both on the South side on Olas Altas street. Have fun. Chuck...

my partner and i just got back in february. we are not night owls either but do enjoy some night life.

we found 'apaches'- a lesbian owned martini bar (olas atlas) beside 'andales' - a fantastic place to be out and be laid back at the same time. 'the palm'- just up the street offers fantastic shows that usually start around 10 pm.

there are a couple other gay owned bars on Pulpito (one block up from the palm) that are nice as well.

PV - especially the south side- is very gay friendly and almost seems to be almost all 'gay owned'. because of this we found that most places do not care if you are gay and are very welcoming. money is money.

there are gay guides at many establishments in the area. pick one up or do a web search on gay puerto vallarta.

Jennybean · Post by **Jennybean** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:20 am

Definitely Apaches.

The other two bars on Pulpito are the Kit Kat and Garbo.

charlieb · Post by **charlieb** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:18 am

Ok; what I see going on here is a polarization: Gays/Lesbians over there and Straights over here. What's wrong with not doing that? Why do "they" have to feel unwanted in non-gay places, and why do "we" have to feel unwanted in gay places? Just wondering. Chuck...

winterpegman · Post by **winterpegman** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:21 am

charlieb wrote:Ok; what I see going on here is a polarization: Gays/Lesbians over there and Straights over here. What's wrong with not doing that? Why do "they" have to feel unwanted in non-gay places, and why do "we" have to feel unwanted in gay places? Just wondering. Chuck...

Why can't people just be/go where they wish to be comfortable? Why do they HAVE to mix, if that's not where people feel comfortable, or the most happy?

charlieb · Post by **charlieb** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:31 am

Great point, Darryl, however my point is why can't we just be comfortable with each other? I'm sure if I went to a bar and saw 2 guys making out I would be uncomfortable. I would also be uncomfortable if I saw a guy and a gal doing the same thing. Why can't we all just go to Andales, knock back a few, sing, dance and have a blast? Why do "they" have to go to a "lesbian owned martini bar"? Why not just go to a martini bar? I grew up in the '60's, and back then Blacks had the same problem. But because of many social changes, including their hard work and perserverance, we all sit at the same bar. Do you really mean to tell me that Gay/Lesbians can't do the same thing? If not, I am truly sorry. Just my ideas. Chuck...

delectdee · Post by **delectdee** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 12:01 pm

charlieb wrote:Great point, Darryl, however my point is why can't we just be comfortable with each other? I'm sure if I went to a bar and saw 2 guys making out I would be uncomfortable. I would also be uncomfortable if I saw a guy and a gal doing the same thing. Why can't we all just go to Andales, knock back a few, sing, dance and have a blast? Why do "they" have to go to a "lesbian owned martini bar"? Why not just go to a martini bar? I grew up in the '60's, and back then Blacks had the same problem. But because of many social changes, including their hard work and perserverance, we all sit at the same bar. Do you really mean to tell me that Gay/Lesbians can't do the same thing? If not, I am truly sorry. Just my ideas. Chuck...

in an ever evolving world we should be able to sit back and have a few no matter our differences. but we can't. not yet. but are getting closer every year.
i didn't get the impression that the original post was looking for places so they could be separate from other people. and neither was my reply meant to separate people.
pv has to be one of the most open places i've been to and is the reason i keep returning.
and i bet you they do go to andale's and have a great time. actually, i think an 'adale's' in every city would help the world change it's thinking even faster!

tojol57 · Post by **tojol57** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:26 pm

I think we all can have fun no matter where we are at or what we are doing... I am comfortable seeing what ever is happening in front of me, beside me, etc. but i think one must have a very open mind on this. And i don't think anybody was trying to put a "theirs" versus "ours" versus "alternative lifestyle"... Maybe i am just strange or wierd, but i can have fun just about anywhere and everywhere.

have a good one everybody.... jmho

Jennybean · Post by **Jennybean** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 6:20 pm

Speaking as a straight woman who has been to both Andale and Apaches, in all honesty I felt just as comfortable at Apache as Andale. I was welcomed and made friends at both, and had some great times. Same with The Palm, Garbo, and Kit Kat. Frida too (which is another cool funky little place I recommend).

Look, let's face it - not everyone who travels to PV is as open and welcoming to all walks of life as we are...sorry, that's just a fact. So I 100% understand a gay couple or gay friends maybe seeking out some places where they know they are going to see some friendly faces as opposed to taking a crapshoot on whether they are going to be stared at like animals in a cage, in some cases with derision. There are still pockets of places in Vallarta that are not very welcoming to them, and in some instances outright hostile. If I had that tossed at me, I'd look to avoid it too...not because I didn't want to meet all kinds of new people, but because I was on holiday and didn't want to be confronted with intolerance or bigotry that might spoil my good time and enjoyment of the city.

It's not about polarization. It's about tolerance and understanding.

smitty · Post by **smitty** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:42 pm

Thank you Jenny ! You put into words what many of us were thinking and believe .

winterpegman · Post by **winterpegman** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:59 pm

I've been to Apache's several times, and I'm friends with the owners...lovely people, and a nice atmosphere.

winterpegman · Post by **winterpegman** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:02 pm

charlieb wrote:Great point, Darryl, however my point is why can't we just be comfortable with each other? I'm sure if I went to a bar and saw 2 guys making out I would be uncomfortable. I would also be uncomfortable if I saw a guy and a gal doing the same thing. Why can't we all just go to Andales, knock back a few, sing, dance and have a blast? Why do "they" have to go to a "lesbian owned martini bar"? Why not just go to a martini bar? I grew up in the '60's, and back then Blacks had the same problem. But because of many social changes, including their hard work and perserverance, we all sit at the same bar. Do you really mean to tell me that Gay/Lesbians can't do the same thing? If not, I am truly sorry. Just my ideas. Chuck...

This reminds me of a "debate" I had with a female friend. She was going on about "I SHOULD be able to feel safe wherever I go, and to not have to worry about being beaten up etc." And yes, that's correct in and of itself, but the fact remains, you AREN'T safe everywhere you go.

Same logic applies...yes..we SHOULD all be able to go wherever, and feel comfortable, but the fact remains we all can't/don't.

howard_jax · Post by **howard_jax** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:49 pm

Totally agree with WPM. However, I also wonder how much of the discomfort one feels is in their own minds? I agree that there was a time shen 2 Women walking in to any bar or 2 Men walking in to a neighborhood bar, unknown to others there, might lift eyebrows or questions. Seems to me that it is no longer out of the norm and in either case does not mean that they were Gay.

charlieb · Post by **charlieb** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:01 pm

Exactly, Howard, how much is in their own mind? I know we all see it...two men or two women together in a lounge or tavern and no one minds or gives them any problem. My original post was to give Aceinnw a couple of options to go to with out going to a gay specific place, and the resulting posts were about gay specific places. Anyway, I do understand wanting to be with folks like you are, but it is a real shame the isolation feeling is there. Just my opinion, no meanness or hate meant. Chuck...

lyrihn · Post by **lyrihn** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:31 pm

There is a whole other angle to this as well that you need to consider. One of the reasons that a gay guy or lesiban would wan to go to a bar that specifically caters to them is to meet other people with similar interests. Its not a segregation thing a much as a critical mass thing.

for example I cant go into a straight bar and tap all the guys on the shoulder and say hey gee wiz do you happen to be gay - well i could but it might get some unwelcome responses. This would take the search for "straight acting" to whole new level i think.

Just like sports fan might want to hang out at a sports bar gay and lesbian people at times like to hang out with people who really have a different set of life experiences etc.

And even if the bar is gay if a female couple comes in and they are the only ones there in a sea of gay guys - sure they are welcom but its not the same as a 50% lesbian crowd.

Being welcome is just part of the equation. Being at home is the rest. Many Gay men and lesbians --- especially when on vacation -- want to feel "at home" to the degree possible.

If they are single and looking for someone special or a good time then they definately want the percentages in their favor as well.

I would also suggest apaches as well as garbo.

good luck!

aceinnw · Post by **aceinnw** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:34 pm

Wow, what a great amount of response. Thanks, opened up a lot of great conversation. Sounds like we have some places to try out.

In a perfect world there wouldn't be bars that cater to special groups of people, everyone would feel welcome and safe where ever they went. But we don't live in a perfect world. The majority of our time in PV will be at an all-inclusive where we will want to (because that is just what makes us comfortable) appear "straight". I don't hide nor do I walk around with a sign saying lesbian here.

Although it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

It is nice to be able to go some place where we know that if I reach over and show affection I will not be stared at or worse harassed.

Asking about a lesbian-friendly bar is no different than asking what bars play country or rap or disco music. We want to go to a place that we will enjoy and thanks to all of you I now have some ideas.

What great group here!

tojol57 · Post by **tojol57** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:53 pm

aceinnw wrote:
Wow, what a great amount of response. Thanks, opened up a lot of great conversation. Sounds like we have some places to try out.

In a perfect world there wouldn't be bars that cater to special groups of people, everyone would feel welcome and safe where ever they went. But we don't live in a perfect world. The majority of our time in PV will be at an all-inclusive where we will want to (because that is just what makes us comfortable) appear "straight". I don't hide nor do I walk around with a sign saying lesbian here. Although it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

It is nice to be able to go some place where we know that if I reach over and show affection I will not be stared at or worse harassed.

Asking about a lesbian-friendly bar is no different than asking what bars play country or rap or disco music. We want to go to a place that we will enjoy and thanks to all of you I now have some ideas.

What great group here!

you are welcome. you are right.. we are a pretty good group of people that love Puerto Vallarta. so enjoy, have a great time... never know, you just might finds us out and about too... just having a good ole time...

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